The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
Member of the Ukraine feminist group Femen gets arrested for protesting topless in the Vatican. You, beautiful lady, are to be honored.
GO TO YOUR ROOM
that's not fair
DO AS I SAY.
You never send Lizzie to her room when she's in trouble!!
Lizzie never leaves her room. If she were in trouble I'd make her sit in the living room or go outside or talk to human beings.
I CAN HEAR YOU.