Install this theme

Seeds deleted scenes

Love

fyeahdresdenfiles:

barelysuppressedfirth:

i can’t believe it took this long for this to be posted 

I feel like this is relevant to The Dresden Files.

fyeahdresdenfiles:

barelysuppressedfirth:

i can’t believe it took this long for this to be posted 

I feel like this is relevant to The Dresden Files.

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

unwindher:

Member of the Ukraine feminist group Femen gets arrested for protesting topless in the Vatican. You, beautiful lady, are to be honored. 

My mom is yelling at my brother and I overheard this.
  • Mom:

    GO TO YOUR ROOM

  • Brother:

    that's not fair

  • Mom:

    DO AS I SAY.

  • Brother:

    You never send Lizzie to her room when she's in trouble!!

  • Mom:

    Lizzie never leaves her room. If she were in trouble I'd make her sit in the living room or go outside or talk to human beings.

  • Me:

    I CAN HEAR YOU.

filthylittlemudblood:

forsciencejohn:

omg she recognizes me on video chat

the third one

HYSTERICAL CRYING GOD I LOVE CATS

thedailywhat:

Lady Parts Justice of the Day: When it comes to Lady Parts Expert Todd Akin and reproductive rights, The Daily Show co-founder Lizz Winstead has had enough —  her new (and totally Not Safe For Work) PSA warns us: “If you don’t wanna get f—ked this November, vote.”

[hypervocal]

Reblog If You Grew Up With This

pshaman:

nathoyt:

jumpushfall:

jumpushfall:

a-pretty-optimistic-pessimist:

NOT this:

kids these days are so spoiled

when i was your age we had an animated disney castle intro

and we had to walk uphill both ways to see it

Barefoot, in the snow

on fire

year-round

note-the-sarcasm:

“I heard someone was playing with your hammer?” [x]